Today would have marked one week of not posting, and a week and a half of not posting regularly. Where this blog stands, I don't really know. I did miss blogging, but in the way that you miss the light flakes of snow drifting down onto your eyelashes when the horrors of the wind and the frigid temperatures of winter have been nullified by the warm sun of spring. It was also a rather busy week, and so being disconnected from at least one facet of technology did make life a little easier.
It was also great to have another weekend almost completely devoid of being "connected". I assisted with, and presented at a conference hosted by my department and didn't once check my email, my twitter or my facebook from my phone. And it didn't even cause any twitching this time!
So what did I wear to this event? Exact replications of outfits I wore last year. I knew they worked, I knew I felt confident, but I also knew I wasn't going to document them.
I didn't document them because of lack of time, or because they were repeats. I just really really really enjoyed the feeling of dressing for me. And the strangest thing happened: I got giddy as a school girl when someone passed by me at the conference, and said: "That is a great shirt". Not that I don't love the compliments that I get from you guys, it was just so amazing to get an "IRL" (in real life) compliment, especially when my mind was telling me things like: "I can't believe you didn't come up with something new for today".
It's the "new-and-different-must-be-better" attitude that can summarize my reasons for being away. Whether it's my discouragement from blogs that are barely out of a metaphorical womb before they've exceeded mine in popularity, sponsorships and general recognition; whether it's the feeling that I tend to get from the community that repeating of outfits is plebian; whether it's my instinct of: "omg, I definitely need that skirt, I can't believe my wardrobe is so incomplete," I got tired of feeling like I was lacking in some way.
I've noticed a trend in some blogs I've been following for years that the longer they have been around, the less genuine their outfits feel, and the more costume-y they look - as if they're trying to prove that they are outdoing their old self. The more they claim these extreme styles as representations of themselves, the more I question who they are. There are days when I feel my clothes are speaking for, rather than with me. And that's not why I started this blog.
I started this blog to figure out what I could get rid of in my closet. I did it for me, and I repeated outfits without fear.
A couple hundred dollars of laundry and almost a full 24 hours of ironing has brought me back to my original purpose. So I'm back, with trepidation. I'm making no rules about how I'll reduce my wardrobe. I'm making no rules about the frequency of my posts. I'm making no claims about what things I'll still participate in. All I'm going to claim is that I'm going to dress for me.