I think it finally hit Scott and I that our life is going to change drastically in a matter of days. While I've been feeling apprehensive for a number of weeks, we're entering the realm of anxiety. And while this could be the one negative public admission I allow myself per day, I'm seeing the positive in this situation: we have an opportunity to create whatever future we want.Of course, there are pesky things that will stand in our way but our future will be made from what we do with the obstacles. And woohoo! Finally a job posted for a copywriter!
But today, well, today could be hard. After 5 years of working in the public service, I will be handing in my swipe card and my ID. With budget cuts, office closures and layoffs abounding, it's not likely I'll be back any time soon, if ever. While I'm convincing myself there is something bigger and better in my future, I'd always held out hope that I would be bridged into a full-time employment situation. I feel I need to take a moment, at some point today, to recognize this shift in my future.
That's the thing about futures: beginnings and endings are so closely related, they might as well be synonymous. And while hope is generally reserved for beginnings, maybe we should see endings through that same lens: hope that we can carry forward the lessons we've learned.
For this monumental day, I took a cue from what I wore my first day 5 years ago. (Yes, I was instructed wearing jeans was completely appropriate for my department. Unfortunately, I was not instructed that the other departments on our floor did not have the same dress code, so I did feel very out of place. Today, however, I was quite comfortable in it.) It's not an exact replica, but I'm certain is was flats, jeans, a green sweater (similar to the one I am wearing), and the corduroy jacket I wore a lot this winter. No one would have known (it was 5 years ago and in a different office), but I'm a little glad I didn't have the cord jacket with me - I can at least pretend my style evolved over the past five years!