* I've been struggling to rebuild some self-esteem I've lost over the last number of weeks. I'm continually astonished at the fact that even if 5 people are telling you that you did a great job, one person saying that you didn't always echoes so much louder. That voice even begins to transfer over into other areas of your life, and soon you find yourself huddled under blankets, unable to do anything, believing you will already fail.
I tell you, it's been fun times in the life of Cara.
To counteract the voice (which may have started out as someone else's but soon became my own), I've forced myself to reflect every morning on one thing that I did well the previous day, or one positive trait about myself.
Saturday: I completed a difficult part of the knitting pattern for the gift I am giving Scott's cousin's baby. Not only was I capable of persevering, but I am also glad I have the skills to create something from nothing, as money is tight. Hopefully, the gift will be cherished both because it'll be friggin' adorable and because time, energy and love went into it.
Sunday: I ate my vegetables. No, really, it's worthy of praise. I resisted the urge to say: "we don't need veggies" when Scott asked me to help with supper. I didn't even pull my usual "but I'm working on my thesis" when really I'm just figuring out what to wear to my thesis defense. I got my lazy butt off the couch, peeled the carrots, washed the celery, mixed up some dip, and ate the whole bowl ravenously.
Monday: I may have had a slow start to my day, having difficulties making myself get motivated, but I did eventually accomplish what I had set out to do. And even though I didn't believe it was quality work, I believed enough in myself to not immediately delete it and start again. And sure enough, the next morning I re-read it and it was exactly what I wanted it to say.
Tuesday: I interviewed very confidently for a job. I decided it didn't matter if I didn't think I was aptly qualified, they asked me to come in and interview, and I would do the best I could. I felt at ease and comfortable sharing the experience I have, and was honest about my shortcomings.
What do you do to build your self-esteem when it starts to get a little low?
*Alas, this photo was "uploaded by user" so I don't know if she was the creator or if she found it elsewhere. If you know the original source of this photo, please let me know, as I do wish to give credit where credit is due!
I've been through the same thing to. It's amazing how one person can really get to you. I pray, sometimes I sing that little tune from the sound of music 'i have confidence' and like you do little things to make it stronger! Continue doing what works for you. KNOW that you are fabulous and ones that say those kind of things are many times jealous. ((HUG))
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Oh, I am sorry Cara that you've been feel low lately. That's a tough place to be. When I feel like that I usually call my Mom! She somehow always knows just what to say. xo
ReplyDeleteAww, I'm sorry you've had to deal with a lot of crap lately! It sounds like you're on the right track for feeling better. I usually just eat a lot of chocolate and act all needy to the Hubs until he assures me everything will be fine over and over and over again. Finally, somehow, I believe it. lol
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling down! I hope it gets better soon!
ReplyDeleteThat is a really useful way to help keep focused on the positive, Cara - a daily "I did good!" really does help. Oddly, that's the theme of our WW meetings this week...and it's been helping me as well.
ReplyDeleteBelieve that you are strong and you can make it through this. Good luck with the job interview!
What a great positive attitude. I truly believe life gets better once you start positive thinking. My life has gotten happier since I've "forced" myself to look at positives.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you're persevering and if you ever need someone to talk with, you know you're always free to shoot me an email.
Sorry to hear you're having a rough time. Writing in my gratitude journal helps me as does reflecting on what's going right in my life. It's so easy to get caught up in what's wrong or the negative things people say because it calls up our insecurities. You are a good person and you deserve happiness, even if others are being rude to you.
ReplyDeleteWhat a good idea. It's so easy to let life get us down. I think that I need to start doing that. I've gone from having loads of friends to pretty much none and it's been really hard, so much so that I'm starting to forget why I ever had friends in the first place. Be brave, little lovely Cara. Life goes on and gets better and even in the darkest times there is some light. Keep searching for it.
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